You know you have been in Norway for too long when...

I found the following list on a website and it is worryingly true!!! I am becoming a proper Norwegian!!! Very Very Funny!

You no longer snigger when you see grown women walking around with their hair in plaits.

The first thing you do upon entering a bank/post office/chemist etc. is to look for the queue number machine.

Your coffee consumption exceeds 6 cups a day and coffee is too weak if there is less than 10 scoops per pot.

In a bar you go up and buy your own drink even if you are in a group, Norwegians do not buy rounds!

You pass a supermarket and think "Wow, it is open, I had better go in an buy something!"

A sharp intake of breath has become part of your vocabulary, as has the sound ”Jah hahh”

Your native language has seriously deteriorated, now you begin to "eat medicine", "open the television", "close the lights off", “take a beer”, ”look upon everything” and tell someone to “follow with me” or "you needn't to!" You start to say “for 2 years ago” and ask people "to learn you how to do something!"

Hugging is reserved for foreplay - norwegians dont hug!

You give up on trying to find fat-free food and pile on the butter, cream and sugar.

You no longer look at sports pants as casual wear, but recognise them as semi-formal wear.

Your front step is beginning to resemble a shoe shop.

You know that more than three channels means cable.

When you're hungry you can peel a boiled potato like lightning.

You eat jam with savoury dishes

You accept that 80 degrees C in a sauna is chilly, but 20 degrees C outside is freaking hot.

An outside temperature of -5 degrees C is mild.

You have conversations with people outside when it is –10C.

Having to book seat numbers at a cinema makes perfect sense. And you sit in your booked seat even if there are only 2 other people there and your seat is in the front row, on the side.

It's acceptable to eat lunch at 11.00 and dinner at 4pm

You are able to name at least 5 different types of snow.

Most of your friends have the same names and you must use both names to distinguish between them.

You accept that you will never again wear your beautiful stiletto heels because:

a: there's snow everywhere and even if you did then,
b: you still have to take them off at the door which instantly ruins the hitherto glamorous line of whatever you were wearing as you drop, 10cm, onto your flat feet in your short and sexy little black dress. Not the same effect at all.

Hearing the words f*ck and shag on daytime TV seems perfectly normal.

When someone asks you for "sex" you assume they mean half-a-dozen.

The first thing you do in the morning is to switch on your car heater.

Everybody has an outdoor thermometer at home and they all compare temperatures when they get to work.

You don't get disgusted by the little balls of discarded snus (chewing tobacco) at your feet at every bus stop.

You don't even get disgusted by seeing people spit, constantly.

You start calling Coke "cola".

When visiting others you try to go in first. If it's locked THEN you ring the doorbell.

England, Scotland and Wales can all be called England.

You make fun of tourists.

You accept that you pay bills at the post office, pick up packages from the grocery store, and you have to drive 5 miles to find a postbox to put your outgoing mail in.

When you see that the time is 3.30 and you say it’s "half TO four" (halv fyra)

You think there is no such thing as bad weather, only bad clothing.

You're complaining in January not because it's minus 10 degrees, but because there's no snow.

You are horrified if you see anyone drinking wine with their lunch.

“Sex and the City” is on at 6pm.

When someone asks for a cup of tea, you give them a cup of warm water and a selection of teabags.

You drink a cup of tea with the tea bag in the cup until you finish!

There are 3 ways of doing things - the Right Way, the Wrong way and the NOrwegian Way!

YOU CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHY PEOPLE LIVE ANYWHERE BUT IN Norway